tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26360237156783427372024-03-13T15:21:45.518-07:00And I Quote.I have been writing since I could write, and suddenly, I just couldn't. This is my personal battle with writer's block. I write in quotes, and if I suddently get the urge to add on to a quote, it becomes a poem, but mostly, I just write a lot of quotes. Brittany Hallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11959736755882954342noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2636023715678342737.post-81534635182718397692019-01-22T15:38:00.000-08:002019-01-22T15:38:23.336-08:00chicago<div style="text-align: right;">
Distance seems to be a pleasant torture-</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
the kind that we endure with a constant</div>
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sharp </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
and cruel </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
pain.</div>
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For the sake of desire.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
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Changing my perception is only enough to keep me</div>
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from seeing you at the borderline.</div>
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Never enough to stop the knife in my gut from twisting</div>
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<br /></div>
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But if i tuck my head under the weight of the truth</div>
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i can barely even see you-</div>
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until I come back up for a breathe of air</div>
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<br /></div>
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Then the welling in my stomach moves up to my chest and I still cannot breathe-</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
because the realization that I am not with you</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
is more toxic than holding my breath waiting for you to return.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Detoxification spews from my eyes</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
and it rolls down my face but I am still silent</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
For loving you- and you loving me</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
is just enough to get me by</div>
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I find solace that I have you</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
at a distance</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
rather than not have you</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
at all.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
Brittany Hallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11959736755882954342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2636023715678342737.post-7846992476193323262019-01-22T15:24:00.000-08:002019-01-22T15:24:49.205-08:00Alley<div dir="ltr">
It starts as the feeling of mourning,<br />
Or better yet, the feeling of loss.<br />
Loss of freedom<br />
Independence<br />
Safety<br />
Innocence</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Then it forms a conscious <br />
And it tells you it's all your fault.<br />
A<br />
Sense of guilt.<br />
A<br />
Sense of hate.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Inward and onward bound, <br />
The wrath of the shame has no boundaries.<br />
Infinite<br />
in the cycle of fault </div>
<div dir="ltr">
Stitching yourself together<br />
Day after day<br />
Because the things that used to be ok are no longer alright <br />
And every action feels like its pulling at your seams<br />
Sometimes, it feels like blood is gushing from the wounds<br />
And your skin feels swollen and sore from the stitches<br />
But they aren't really there<br />
And you know that<br />
But it doesnt make them any less real</div>
<div dir="ltr">
So <br />
you start to cover the stitches with neosporin <br />
So that they won't itch you during the day<br />
And sometimes you almost forget they are there<br />
Until someone gets too close and rips one open with a simple hug or touch on the arm...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
The feeling of loss resurfaces<br />
And the need to blame someone for this-<br />
Returns.<br />
It burns like a fire. And you can feel it right below the surface of the skin-<br />
It's hot and it begins to bubble.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
I hate that you feel this,<br />
Because I feel it, too.<br /><br /></div>
Brittany Hallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11959736755882954342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2636023715678342737.post-33914525250125890182017-09-09T01:50:00.002-07:002017-09-09T01:50:49.084-07:00Quote Me<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Beauty lies in only the most evil of eyes.</span><br />
<br />Brittany Hallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11959736755882954342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2636023715678342737.post-22601535300071826492017-09-09T01:32:00.000-07:002017-09-09T01:32:16.426-07:00Shaken, not StirredWhy can't you feel it, too?<br />
Don't you see that there is danger here?<br />
There are people everywhere, people pretending to be people, but they aren't people.<br />
I'm not bothered<br />
I'm alert<br />
I'm afraid<br />
I'm shaken<br />
<br />
I'm not stirred<br />
<br />
I see these faces, and they aren't smiling faces<br />
They aren't real faces either.<br />
<br />
One foot in front of the other, keep it moving-<br />
There isn't much further to go- I know that because I can hear the feedback from the mic-<br />
check check check from the artist who thinks he's an artist because he imitates an artist-<br />
flattery, right?<br />
<br />
I hold onto the sleeve of my shirt because I feel like the wind that is blowing may rip me out of my own skin. I can hear that I am breathing, but am I really breathing if it sounds like I'm screaming and not breathing?<br />
<br />
Everyone pushes forward in a line that isn't moving and my personal space becomes their personal space and I wish I could be in space... where nobody else is.<br />
<br />
Here comes the guilt- the guilt that I should be smiling- grinning ear to ear- even though that's how close we are now- standing EAR TO EAR- because we're suppose to be enjoying this moment- together.<br />
<br />
I have to go- I say- I have to go home- and so you hand me the key. The key to happiness is that you can't take your key to leave- the key is to forget your key so you stay.<br />
<br />
My fingers are numb now but it isn't cold. My fingers are numb, because I can't loosen my grip on this key or my shirt sleeve, and I think how I wish I could be numb myself. I grow jealous of my fingers, but only for a moment because-<br />
<br />
Now you're mad. You're mad at me because I'm a freak and I can't stop being jealous or scared or whatever it is that you think I am- and I'm mad that you're mad because I'm not a mad man- I<br />
<br />
I just want to be protected from this place- this place and these people who are pretending to be people but aren't really people-<br />
<br />
You're the only one who knows me- really knows how fucked up this place in between my ears really is- the only one who knows me because I don't see a friendly or familiar face- the only one who knows me because you can see this turmoil building up even though it's silent-<br />
<br />
but you can't protect me, because you don't want to protect me- you want to protect yourself from having to protect me<br />
<br />
<br />
because I'm always shaken<br />
Something is always wrong<br />
and the weary grow weary of the those who are weary<br />
and the only thing I can say is I'm sorry<br />
<br />
<br />Brittany Hallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11959736755882954342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2636023715678342737.post-47200194383320179412015-05-12T17:34:00.000-07:002015-05-12T17:34:30.434-07:00wounded<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a few words escape from the hole in your face</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and my brain forgets the track that it was racing on</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i had a list for you</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a list of things i had told myself i didn't deserve</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i had organized them and labeled them in my mind </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">rated by importance</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i had a strong argument and</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew this time you would hear me</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and you would understand </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the liquidation of my broken soul that was pouring</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">out of my mouth</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i just knew you would</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">but you didn't</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and i think i'm addicted to the dissapointment</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i wonder if i'll ever know what it would feel like if---</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">no time for that kind of thought.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it'll only lead to more hoping</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and more dissapointment</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">yet i hold onto you</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">like you're covered in gorilla glue</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i hold onto the thought that</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe one day you'll hear me</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">because the voice in my head has been screaming</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">for so many years</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">screaming to tell you that you're mean</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">that you're not welcome here because you know how to wound me</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and that voice- it knows why you do it</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the voice understands why you're so mean</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so when those words spill out of the hole in your mouth</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">she sits back and says "he cant help it, he just cant hear you"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and she withdrawls</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">she surrenders</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and i do too</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
Brittany Hallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11959736755882954342noreply@blogger.com0