a few words escape from the hole in your face
and my brain forgets the track that it was racing on
i had a list for you
a list of things i had told myself i didn't deserve
i had organized them and labeled them in my mind
rated by importance
i had a strong argument and
i knew this time you would hear me
and you would understand
the liquidation of my broken soul that was pouring
out of my mouth
i just knew you would
but you didn't
and i think i'm addicted to the dissapointment
i wonder if i'll ever know what it would feel like if---
no time for that kind of thought.
it'll only lead to more hoping
and more dissapointment
yet i hold onto you
like you're covered in gorilla glue
i hold onto the thought that
maybe one day you'll hear me
because the voice in my head has been screaming
for so many years
screaming to tell you that you're mean
that you're not welcome here because you know how to wound me
and that voice- it knows why you do it
the voice understands why you're so mean
so when those words spill out of the hole in your mouth
she sits back and says "he cant help it, he just cant hear you"
and she withdrawls
she surrenders
and i do too
